Post number Five-Zero

I feel like a shadow. A shadow of who I once was, a shadow of who I'm supposed to be. I feel weak, my id is taking control. You can tell by the gummie bears on the desk, the running shoes that haven't been touched in days.
It used to be that I could just guilt myself into trying.
I only had one thing I wanted to get done today. Set myself an easy goal; just sand down the cabinet you worked so hard to build, and put another coat on.
One thing.
Can you believe I didn't do it, didn't finish this beautiful piece I've worked so hard on? Of course. I feel broken, tired, angry, disappointed.
Fifty posts. That surprised me. Time is certainly passing too quickly. My birthday is coming up. Nobody cares.
I think I'll go to bed, and try to start tomorrow well rested and ready to get things done.