dead dead dead

Oh, I am soooooooooooooo so very sore. Sitting hurts, breathing hurts. And this is after just one day of training with Master Sergeant Dunn. Today we did more sprints in PT, and soon I'm going to call MSG Dunn and see if he's there. So he can kill me again.
I wish running were just a little easier, but I think I'm starting to realize that it is always getting easier, it's just that the bar is still way high. For me that is. It's depressing to think that my goal is just above failing. Of course my real goal is maxing. Ack.
MSG Dunn told me yesterday, that something is holding me back, something in my head. He wonders because he never sees me at that point of desperation, that gasping for one more breath like I've given it everything I've got. I think partly I'm good at hiding it, and partly he's right. But I don't know what it is, it's like I'm not completely sure that this is real.
I am too tired to think anymore. I'm going to rest.