Warning: dramatic poetry ahead.

And if you don't like it, think it's pretentious, melodramatic, or just generally crap, I don't give a flying fuck. This was my life for a while, and parts of it still apply. I just felt like sharing today.

...................
How can empty be so solid?
You sit so silently, it's like you can't hear,
all this chaos around me, hate-love-joy-fear.
How don't you notice this tension, this strife?
You breathe easy, air I cut with a knife.
I sit and I watch you, don't know what I think,
the outcome is unknown, the battle cries sing,
and I beg for some silence in this quiet room filled.
But the answer is broken, my bravery killed.
Still you don't notice, don't hear my plea,
You rest there, ever so silently.
See me, briefly.

..........................
On the way
On the way down
See the numbers
Tick by
So taken
So used
Like the floor
So tread through
And I stand
Still I fall
Shaking hands

I know
.................................

I forget sometimes
How much you need it

That stall of thought
That heady feeling
That closeness of breath
Your mind is reeling

We need that touch
That sense of real
From another's reach
A way to feel

But still we sit
Alone each night
And though we grab
With all our might
Is slowly moves
It floats away
What it feels like
To feel every day

That fear of negation
By our deficit built
Makes the hole deeper
Harder to fill

So despite our resolve
Our new will to try
We end up alone
Night after night
.................................

This time

I feel her now
She's close this time
Arms come around
Leans her head to mine
Her stillness it hurts
Like a wrench in the gears
It's different this time
Though she's been here for years

It's not the contrast now
That causes the pain
But deep in her purpose
It's all she can bring

First a pang, then a twist,
She melds now in close
A pause, then a tug
A stop, then a start
A flash, then a distance
Twixt the beats of my heart
Then a shudder
Now a burn
Now I've nothing but her
And we fall

Is this it?
I wonder now where I lay
In a ball as it fades
I can breathe and I wonder
Will the next time be all
That final curtain call?
.........................