Desperate
So I'm sitting here.
Tired, but not sleepy. Feeling hopeless, bitter, empty. Feeling anxious about feeling depressed. Hating my body, and not just because I've gained weight, but because it's a fucking mystery, speaking a language I don't understand and hurting me because of it.
Feeling like I desperately need to get out of this feeling, and yet not only does nothing interest or satisfy me, I can't imagine what I'd want to do if I cheered up. Everything good leads back around to something depressing.
Everything feels so futile.
I mean, with the way our country is going to shit while flipping off the rest of the world, what's the point of doing anything? We'll all probably be wiped out in 20 years.
I feel sick. I can't find a purpose. And I'm getting tired of fighting.
Tired, but not sleepy. Feeling hopeless, bitter, empty. Feeling anxious about feeling depressed. Hating my body, and not just because I've gained weight, but because it's a fucking mystery, speaking a language I don't understand and hurting me because of it.
Feeling like I desperately need to get out of this feeling, and yet not only does nothing interest or satisfy me, I can't imagine what I'd want to do if I cheered up. Everything good leads back around to something depressing.
Everything feels so futile.
I mean, with the way our country is going to shit while flipping off the rest of the world, what's the point of doing anything? We'll all probably be wiped out in 20 years.
I feel sick. I can't find a purpose. And I'm getting tired of fighting.
posted by Elysia @ 23:43
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