Last one was 86. Year of my birthday! This one's 87

So being that sick just completely drained me. I haven't had the energy to even think about posting.
Oh well, two-three days of rest and I'm all good now.
It's just about time to start going shopping and things. I'm excited, but I'm a little frustrated because all the last several times I've gone, my favorite store hasn't had anything for me.
New inside joke:
"They say?"
"Yes, they say."
Ok. Enough of that.
So I'm back home for anyone who wants to hang out and stuff. I'm going back to school around January 4th-6th. Call me soon though, because my schedule is filling up quick!
It's wierder when people aren't just in your class or down the hall. You all have my cell, but here it is again anyway. 503-515-5080.
If you need a shopping buddy too, you know I'm always game.

It's funny reading other people's blogs, when they talk about serious things, their feeling, events in the world. I purposefully stay away from most of those things. I guess that right now I'm just working on certain parts of my life and learning. I think it must be too much to handle to feel so deeply. But sometimes I wonder why I don't. I end up feeling numb most days, in an attempt to not hurt. I have this friend, who for the last three weeks we have spoken every day. He's ended up forcing me to face some things about myself that I didn't know or didn't want to face. I thank him for it, but it also makes me angry. And yesterday I didn't talk to him, breaking our three-week streak. Makes me sad. He probably doesn't care, or notice, which hurts to admit, but it may be not true and that might be a defense mechanism that makes me doubt everyone. Or maybe it's just tv shows that make me so wary of actual trust. Society's perception of itself, and the high-school-esque attitudes that get carried too far beyond high school.
I'm glad that where I'm at lets everyone drop that high school bs. But I've found that when I get really stressed, I start percieving things again the way I used to in high school, feeling upset at every glance, thinking everything is wrong.
Take my friend for instance, he has a girlfriend, and although I'm very attracted to him, I know that we couldn't ever have a relationship. But I worry and feel like he must think I'm annoying and clingy and he must think that I'm crazy about him. In reality, he probably realizes that we're both adults and can handle things. But I don't know, because I'm silly and very stressed from this crazy term. I just hope he feels like talking to me today.
So yeah. This is just going in circles. I'll just post and think and stuff.
K
Bye