When am I gonna accept the fact...

That in a battle between me and the sun, I ALWAYS LOSE.
That friends are inadequate and I can't expect so much from people because then I will be inherently disappointed.
That there is no point to anything I do other than if I enjoy it.
That I hate most of what I do.
That hating myself just makes me tired.
That anti-depressants aren't just for weak people.
That every time I think about what I can't have, I'm just going to get depressed.
That I don't make friends with people that party, therefore I don't get to party. Because I can't throw a party because that requires either location or alcohol, neither of which I gots.
That I would rather not miss the college experience.
That I don't make friends. I make temporary allies, and enemies in disguise/waiting.
That I can't trust anyone.
That I'm going to be lonely for a long long time.
That I have terrible self esteem while having a superiority complex.
That wanting more than you can ever have is just stupid. May work hard. but it's stupid.
That I don't care if I get through an obstacle or not so long as I don't look bad, or I do it with dramatic finesse, and as entertaining as that would be if someone made a movie about my life, nobody gives a fuck and notices.
That nobody notices.
That nobody notices.
That nobody
cares