Titles... Back to where I was with post #1

I don't think anyone would say that the moments you spend waiting before you go off the diving board are empty. Time is being spent on doing absolutely nothing. You are waiting, standing still. Yet you could cut the air with a knife.
I think for twenty minutes and my brain is so tired I want to sleep for hours. I so much as hint to my brain that I need to write a big paper, and I feel weak.
I am quite sick of this.
It's like my room. I keep trying to clean it, to make it more functional. But every time I merely pick up the pieces and before any real change is made, I am exhausted and cannot continue.
I have hope.
But I am worried. I look at my future and see a major I'm not enjoying. I see limited choices. Disappointments. Suffering. I can't see the good things to hope for. I can't see the possibilities. All my experiences this year will be mimiced next year. I have still so many responsibilities.
This is wasting my time too. I have to get something done.