Connections

I've been studying this class, personality psychology...
As much as I whine about it and get frustrated, I am learning now how interesting it is.
Some of the theorists maintain that we are nothing without each other. Meaning that we have to have people around us for us to have personalities. Never quite sure about that.
But then people talk about this feeling of completeness when they find someone right for them. I can't deny that it exists. I love the feeling. Who doesn't?
But is that just the fact that your own identity is solid enough for you to feel comfortable with someone else, to feel independantly dependant on someone else? Could a self-actualized hermit feel the same thing when discovering a new hobby?
I wonder.
I like people, as much as I distance myself with pretentious eliteism and defenses. I like studying what makes them tick, but I also like being on the edge. Placing part of my existance in someone else's hands. Making things a variable. I wish people could see each other more clearly. Be more aware to the small things, to be able to sense the desperate precariousness of every interaction some people share. Sometimes I wish I didn't notice.
Happiness.... always, always coming with a price. Someone has to hurt someone at some point. I'm usually the one who gets hurt. I hate being the one to hurt someone else.

Music. Oh music.
I feel so alive right at this moment. So much myself. This person I missed, denied, hurt. She's back, and kindof at peace. I'm going to stare at the ceiling and listen for a little while.