Forgotten
It's funny how people can forget you.
They forget that you used to hang out, share jokes, include each other in plans. They forget the time and energy you put into the relationship you had. They take what they want from you and then go off to find something different.
I guess loyalty isn't as common as I thought.
I wonder, do you know what it's like to be the one left in the dust? To be the one who is ready and eagar to be a friend or confidant, and yet is dismissed out of hand. Ignored.
I've been dumped several times. People just seem to jump ship the instant things get a little rough. Personally, I need a little turbulence, because otherwise things seem false. But the worst part about getting dumped is when it comes out of the blue. When the other person up and decides to leave you, without telling you why, or attempting to work on things. They just leave. It's happened to me too often. It hurts more than anything to have to see when my loyalty has been misplaced. I'm so loyal sometimes it's probably dumb... but isn't that something most people crave? Is it just me that wishes people were more loyal?
It makes you doubt yourself when people turn from you without a backward glance. It makes you look in the mirror and think, maybe I'm really ugly. Maybe all people see when they look at you is the boring quiet chubby kid. Makes you wonder if the few extra pounds you carry are really repulsive rather than just not-as-attractive. Makes you wonder if somehow, even though you feel like your behavior is on par with those around you, it really isn't. Like the poor kids who don't realize they're awkward and frustrating.
I wonder if most people feel like this. I wonder if you worry about the fact that nobody ever calls you on a saturday night. I don't really know how to change that. I'm a friendly person. I make plenty of nice casual friends/acquaintances, and yet at the end of a school year, I'm still left with only one or two people who might actually call me up. Which is dumb because I'm an easy friend to have. I find people interesting, and I'm easily pleased. I'm game for anything.
I wonder, do you always feel like most people don't have time to hang out when you call people up? Does everyone hear those rejections? Am I simply blowing it out of perspective? Maybe I'm just a little tired of rejection in my whole life. Things just haven't been going right for a couple years, and there doesn't seem to be all that much I can do. The only thing I can work on is myself, and that's great and all, but it'd be nice if I had some friends so I could take the pressure off the introspection once in a while.
Maybe I'm just lonely because it's summer and I hardly see anyone. Whatever... Maybe the next day I have off I'll just go to the beach.
Who wants to go?
They forget that you used to hang out, share jokes, include each other in plans. They forget the time and energy you put into the relationship you had. They take what they want from you and then go off to find something different.
I guess loyalty isn't as common as I thought.
I wonder, do you know what it's like to be the one left in the dust? To be the one who is ready and eagar to be a friend or confidant, and yet is dismissed out of hand. Ignored.
I've been dumped several times. People just seem to jump ship the instant things get a little rough. Personally, I need a little turbulence, because otherwise things seem false. But the worst part about getting dumped is when it comes out of the blue. When the other person up and decides to leave you, without telling you why, or attempting to work on things. They just leave. It's happened to me too often. It hurts more than anything to have to see when my loyalty has been misplaced. I'm so loyal sometimes it's probably dumb... but isn't that something most people crave? Is it just me that wishes people were more loyal?
It makes you doubt yourself when people turn from you without a backward glance. It makes you look in the mirror and think, maybe I'm really ugly. Maybe all people see when they look at you is the boring quiet chubby kid. Makes you wonder if the few extra pounds you carry are really repulsive rather than just not-as-attractive. Makes you wonder if somehow, even though you feel like your behavior is on par with those around you, it really isn't. Like the poor kids who don't realize they're awkward and frustrating.
I wonder if most people feel like this. I wonder if you worry about the fact that nobody ever calls you on a saturday night. I don't really know how to change that. I'm a friendly person. I make plenty of nice casual friends/acquaintances, and yet at the end of a school year, I'm still left with only one or two people who might actually call me up. Which is dumb because I'm an easy friend to have. I find people interesting, and I'm easily pleased. I'm game for anything.
I wonder, do you always feel like most people don't have time to hang out when you call people up? Does everyone hear those rejections? Am I simply blowing it out of perspective? Maybe I'm just a little tired of rejection in my whole life. Things just haven't been going right for a couple years, and there doesn't seem to be all that much I can do. The only thing I can work on is myself, and that's great and all, but it'd be nice if I had some friends so I could take the pressure off the introspection once in a while.
Maybe I'm just lonely because it's summer and I hardly see anyone. Whatever... Maybe the next day I have off I'll just go to the beach.
Who wants to go?
posted by Elysia @ 23:09
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