Ex-BF for evah... DECK!

Text message breakup has surprising relevance for me considering how Tim broke up with me haha. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcidD2HFK8M
You know... just watch it. It's a good laugh. Good music too... gets stuck in your head.
Also fantastic, shoes, by the same guy.
Things are going well. I've been doing this funny experiment on myself, where I wear one of my wigs on M/W/F and see how it affects people and myself, and how long it takes people to see me on more than one of those days and to comment on it. It makes for interesting conversations and stray looks. Good conversation starters, of which I could definitely use to make up for the isolation created from a long relationship. But it's going well. I already have a couple additions to my harem haha, and I'm making/re-connecting with a lot of friends this term.
Right now though I'm procrastinating going to work. A little tired, thursdays just kill me. But it's a good thing. I woke up though, at like 4am, thinking something was really wrong. Like something was bad. I felt like I couldn't really breathe, but I was still exhausted, so I cracked a window in case I was getting carbon-monoxide poisoning or something weird. Never figured out what had me so upset, but everything was fine when I got up at 7.
Hurt my shoulder in judo though, and now it's really sore since we did veil work in bellydancing.
Bah... enough procrastination. On to work!

My version test anxiety

Yeah. A lot of people have test anxiety, who worry about how they're doing on a test, who take every look as a glare, and a pencil breaking as a sign.
It's funny, I've never suffered from test anxiety. I don't panic there.
I just suffer test anxiety of the world. I feel like my whole life is a test that I have to do perfectly on. That's what I get on a day to day basis.
Wonderful.
No wonder people quit life.

Wait a second....

For the first time in a very long while, I had a day that wasn't a sucker punch.
Nope. Unlike most of the days for the past month, today I didn't hate my life.
I didn't find out that I had failed my final PT test and lost all my army family and financial security.
Today I didn't find out that my boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me and neglected to mention it to me until all my friends had seen on facebook before me.
Today I didn't find out that I had to change my career and my entire life plans.
Today I didn't find out that once again, the treatment didn't work and the doctors still don't know what's wrong.
Today I didn't find out that my feline best friend of 20 years has died.
Today I didn't find out that no matter how hard I try, I failed at running.
Today I didn't find out that 3 hours of training a day still isn't enough.
Today I didn't find out that all my efforts training were wasted and now I have terrible grades.
Today I didn't find out that my life gets harder each and every day, as it has for the past several months.


Today something went right for me. Dr. Bernieri has accepted my request to be my mentor for my honors thesis, and has invited me to take part in assisting his research group. I get to do research! If I work as hard as I think I can, then I should be rewarded with steps that take me to grad school to get my masters and doctorate...Maybe I'll become a great psychologist after all!
Now if only I could sleep. Too bad I'm super hyper and also paranoid about someone messing up my brand new garden area. My poor little seedlings in their greenhouse, with nothing protecting them from potential jerks who want to mess with my stuff because they can. Lame. Hopefully they'll be ok.
Ugh... I'm too excited about tomorrow and friday... but if I don't get sleep now, I'll die tomorrow with my 12 hours on campus.


Lava lamps are really cool.